My ATM Sucks.

I was in an interview recently and after all the questions about code and writing code and reviewing code I was asked

What is the one thing you would change about the ATM you use most frequently?

The first thing that popped into my mind was the atrocious $3 fee for taking out any amount of money.  I live right near a train station, so all the local ATMs gouge you.  Seeing that the US taxpayers have bought the bank that runs this ATM twice over I think we ought to abolish these ridiculous “Convenience” fees.  Yeah…I want to take out $60 bucks, but losing 5 percent on my money instantly doesn’t seem too convenient.  I digress…

I didn’t think the fees were what the interviewer was looking for and the second thing that jumped to mind almost immediately was the abysmal user interface this ATM had.  Let’s go to the film.  I snapped this photo at great personal risk of looking like someone who wanted to rob a Shittibank ATM, but then I remembered that I own it.  Can you really be accused of robbing yourself?  This is a me-eyed-view of what I see when I get to this particular ATM.

I’m not bragging here, but I’m 5 feet 9 inches tall.  I know, I know…you all want me to play center for your kids’ middle school intramural basketball team.  Please, stop calling. If I were Shaq sized I might not have a problem, but as a man of slightly less than extraordinarily average height I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I be able to see all the keys on the keypad.

The fact that I can’t see the 1,2,3 doesn’t really bother me that much.  I can infer from where the 4,5,6 is where my fingers should do the walking.  But the more insidious problem is that the Enter Key, used to confirm the entry of my pin number, is conspicuously invisible.  I can see the “CLEAR” and “CANCEL” buttons which indicates to me that Shittibank considers me a slackjawed mouth-breathing luddite who couldn’t conceivably enter a 4 digit pin without screwing up, but the “ENTER” key is nowhere to be seen.  Everytime I key in my pin I’m then forced to look down trying to find the enter key and that’s when they sneak up behind me and tickle me until I pay the “Convenience of not pissing your pants” fee (I have a weak bladder under tickle-torture).

In Steve Krug’s Don’t Make Me Think (Please buy it now if you haven’t already) there’s a section in Chapter 3 on Conventions.

At some point in our youth, without ever being taught, we all learned to read a newspaper.  Not the words, but the conventions.

ATMs are exactly the same.  At some point in our teenage years, without ever being taught, we all learned to use an ATM.  Every ATM designer these days has a mountain of conventions to work from such as:

There should be a mirror on the face of the ATM so that users can watch the people in line behind them pick their nose while waiting to use the ATM.  They’ll have a hearty chuckle and want to use this ATM again.

There should be an ominous piece of smoked glass on the face of the ATM with a security camera behind it so we can watch the people using the ATM pick their nose.  We’ll have a hearty chuckle and sell the footage on the internets.  They’ll want to come back so often (because of the mirror) that we’ll have a lot of footage.

And so on.  These things almost design themselves.  Since it seems that no one has done it yet, I’m gonna go ahead and codify the first two conventions of ATM design now for all you ATM designers out there.

The First Convention of ATM Design

DON’T MAKE ME THINK! (Thanks Steve)

The Second Convention of ATM Design

Pursuant to the first convention any key, button, or touchscreen element that should be pressed by the user of the ATM SHOULD BE VISIBLE TO THE USER AT THE TIME IT IS MEANT TO BE PRESSED.

OK Shittibank.  Now that there’s some rules set down, I expect you to follow them in the future.  Get the ATM replacement technicians out in the field and make it happen.